is there any guilt in that? OR what is wrong with my bracelet?

Well after being punked on my own blog and having many a laugh, this entry may seem a bit of a downer. But it is something that has been a nagging issue for some time now. It is the question of cooperate sin and personal responsibility. The basic question is this; if one assumes that there is such a thing as corporate sin then is there any personal guilt that comes from that sin. For example, I would go out on a limb and say that within our country there are major corporations that are guilty of paying unfair wages and creating unfair and unsafe work places. I would also say that this action is morally wrong, it is sin. And that we as a society help to support this kind of sin when we buy that companies product. The problem here is that I feel as if I have no choice but to support what is evil when I go out to buy clothes, food, gas or pay taxes. If I have no other option but to support what is evil am I then guilty? Are we all guilty?

I could spend all my time researching which companies have fair trade policies, pay fair wages and take care of the environment, along with a laundry list of other things that make a company or government 'good' but should I really spend so much time doing that?

Then there is the person of Jesus. I believe that as a person and fully divine being, he was morally perfect. But that brings up its own questions concerning this topic. If you are put in a position where every choice entails supporting evil then is there no guilt from choosing the lesser of evils or did Jesus somehow never end up in that situation? In what way was Jesus the perfect activist? Did he buy his clothing, wine or bread from one seller verses another because of how that person treated his slaves? How about the taxes that he paid to a government that was clearly evil?

An interesting and perhaps needlessly complicated example of this tension came up while hiking with some of my good friends. I fully support cancer research and doing all that we can to find the cure. I find cancer to be clearly evil. So one of the things that I did to help me remember to pray for a close friend with cancer and support research was to buy a Live Strong bracelets. I felt fine about my bracelet. At least until we started talking about Nike and how they likely support sweatshops and unfair wages in foreign countries. Nike also makes the Live Strong bracelets. So the obvious question that arises is, by my supporting Nike for a cause that I believe is very good am I also supporting a cause that I believe is very evil? Am I guilty of sinning for this?

Or am I just over thinking all this way too much? I really do want to live a life that reflects God's priorities and I also want to move away from actions that support or outright commit sins against a perfect God. I just don't want to spend so much time thinking that I never act.

I admit it ...

Well, I did it. I've been ignoring this growing affection for so long, but it just won't settle down. I've tried to talk myself out of it, tried to tell myself that it's just an infectious pop tune, but I can't overcome it. The truth is ...

Ryan Cabrera ROCKS.

I know. It seems really unlike me. But when I heard his new single, Shine On, yesterday on the radio, I found myself singing along right into the hairbrush I keep in my car (what? so maybe I don't have a lot of hair to brush, but that doesn't mean that what's there shouldn't be tended to). Seriously, if you could hear the lyrics, you'd understand. I'm just saying, look at this:

Shine on
You were made to shine on
And you know I love you
And even if we can or can't be friends
I'll be with you until the very end
So shine on
You were made to

Honestly, when my brother and I were driving together the other day and he made some comment about how Ryan Cabrera was really lame, I laughed with him. But I didn't want to. Because I identify with Ryan. It's like were brothers from a different mother. When I was surfing his site this afternoon, I read his bio and thought - wow! this is totally me! Here, read it:

"If a Hollywood studio produced a movie trailer to introduce you to the career of Ryan Cabrera, it would feature Rockyesque moments of determination and triumph of spirit, Risky Business-like duplicity, and the innocence and absurd charm of an Adam Sandler movie."

Guys! It was like reading a synopsis of my own life! I guess I just feel this kinship that I've never felt before with anyone. And I know it makes me lame, too. And I know I'll probably take a lot of crap for it, but I don't care anymore. I'm not gonna hide this. I just like his music. And I know we'd be best friends.

He's coming to The Eagles Club in Milwaukee at the end of the month. I really want to get tickets. So all I'm saying is, my birthday is November 10th, so if anyone wanted to get me a present, well, here's the link.

God, it feels good to admit that. Hope you guys understand how important it is for me to be honest. I feel like Ryan's really encouraged me to just "Shine On."

what is sin?

I am currently taking a class on Christian Theology and this week we are talking about the nature of sin. This is a more interesting question than I first thought. Sin is such an unpopular topic these days in our culture - at least in the world of Madison. To inform another person that they are sinful reeks of casting judgment unfairly and pointing the finger without first examining your own life. The popular response is to personalize faith and let people figure out their own system of personal beliefs and what works for them. This sounds and feels good. At least it does for me. I like being liked. I do not like making other people feel bad about themselves or feel judged, fairly or unfairly. I also like it when people feel good about themselves and see the importance of this from my psychology background. The idea of sin is not something that I like to meditate on or make the focus of even my personal faith.

But this creates a problem. What if sin really is something? First, what is sin? Secondly, is it something that everyone does? Thirdly, if sin exists (which I tend to think it does), and everyone does it (again I think so), then are there consequences to this sin? And finally, if there are consequences, what are they? If I am to take the Bible for what it seems to be saying, sin is a major issue and something that should be talked about a lot more. Granted it should be presented with grace but what is the use of grace without the presence of sin? We don't need grace if there is not something we need unearned forgiveness for.

I am not sure where I am going with this other than the church needs to learn to communicate the problem of sin in a way that convicts while also teaching the amazing value of each and every person. Sin is not a condition that makes us less valuable; instead, sin stops us from experiencing the value we have before a perfect and loving God.

At least that's what I think for tonight, but I'm a verbal processor so things might change tomorrow.

no need to kill the other team

I am sitting here about to go to bed since my body is exhausted after a full day yet my mind is up and active and I am hoping I might be able to connect some sort of coherent thoughts and put them down on 'paper'.

Today I took my first step toward even thinking seriously about the previous post, the Ironman part and not the becoming a US Supreme Court justice. That would be cool too but maybe in the next life. At 8:00 this morning my brother, father and I along with about 800 other people did a mini-triathlon. The atmosphere at these sort of events is incredibly supportive. Most people are chatting with each other before, during and after and pushing each other on to do the best we can. It is such a change from I am used to in competitions. In soccer and other high school sports that I did there was an attitude that each person and team was out to conquer and perhaps even destroy the opponent. Although one might let the words 'good luck' slip from the lips, they were never honestly spoken. We did not wish each other the best. If one team was better than the other we might even secretly hope that someone would get hurt. Or...maybe that is just me and I am a wicked person.

Even when I was on a bowling team we wanted to destroy each other. That's right people I was on a bowling team for two years while in high school. Now for those of you who know me you may chalk this up to the somewhat hick nature of Eau Claire folk but this is not true. Bowling in a league is fun. At least our team made it fun. We would sneak in several Mountain Dews each week and when we were given a good pair of bowling shoes we would borrow them for the rest of the season. My shining moment in the league was the day that I bowled a 210 and was carried out by cheering teammates on their shoulders. Actually no one carried me anywhere but I did get a really cool pin.

I digress. I am excited to be getting into more athletic activities where we can all want the best for the person next to us and compete against ourselves to strive to surpass what we think we are even capable of. It is a sweet relief not to smile and picture jamming a stick into the spinning tire of the biker next to me but instead say, 'keep up the good work and good luck'.

boyhood dreams

As a kid growing up I often dreamt about what I would one day achieve or become when I reached that unknown destination of being a grown-up. My first memories of answering that question were that I wanted to become a clown or a Supreme Court justice. A noble goal for any 6 year old and a popular thing for my parents to showcase for their grown-up friends. Whenever things got boring they just brought in lil'ol Jon and asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up and I would give my answer and people would laugh and say I could combine them and become the president. I still don't quite get that one but I remember at least two people saying it.

Later I began to mature my goals and by 6th grade I had firmly decided that I wanted to be a professional soccer player and one day play in the World Cup. I was convinced that this was a hard but realistic goal since I was the leading scorer in the city Parks and Rec championship match. The world was my oyster. I even wrote an essay for my English class in 7th grade putting forth this goal and how I was going to go about reaching it. It was a good essay, actually I am pretty sure it wasn't, but my teacher wrote back that if I set my mind to it I would have a good chance at success. Sadly this was a lie but I was excited at the moment.

I am now neither a professional soccer player nor on my way to the Supreme Court, although with all these open seats my figures are crossed. My job sometimes requires acting a little like a clown but in all honesty they kind of freak me out so I try and avoid thinking in those terms. So those dreams are now merely fond memories. But now I have a new dream. Yesterday was the Madison Ironman and seeing these men and women put their bodies through hell for way too long and yet overcome and succeed was amazing. I am challenged and excited to at least dream about doing the same thing. What an incredible feat of human strength and will.

I have been able to finish a marathon and I did a hundred miles on my bike yesterday and don't feel too bad. I hate swimming but I am working on it. So why not combine them all and see if I can try it and not die. We shall see. Maybe this is another 7th grade essay but than again maybe not. Maybe just maybe I could do it. We shall see.

to an awesome team

I am taking a quick break from the storm of emails to blog about who knows what. Our kick-off is tonight for the middle school ministry and I think things are ready to go. Which leads me to be incredibly thankful for our awesome team of adult and student leaders who pour their lives into our community and make each week happen. For example for tonight I have done very little to help make it happen and it really has been Sarah and Tim who deserve the credit on this one. They have done an amazing job of creatively forming the night, communicating and coordinating the volunteers. And Sarah is only a freshman in college. Awesome.

Or in the case of our Life Groups, i.e. small groups, Rachel has done an amazing job of matching leaders, finding homes, helping create the curriculum and all around setting us up for a good year.

The list goes on and on and I wish I could take the time to list them all and make sure they know they are loved and appreciated. This is why I love doing what I do. At least in part since I like the students a lot too.

Which leads me to be thankful for last night. We had our first student leadership time, which we call the Revolution which I personally think sounds cool. All we did was go from school to school and pray but it was so cool to hear the prayers of the students. A middle schooler usually prays with stumbling words and an awkwardness that is refreshing. The prayers are not full of strange words that one would never use elsewhere nor are they overly long. They are short and to the point and sound like someone trying to talk to a friend they do not know well.

We prayed that students, teachers and parents from all over town would come to Christ and that we might be used to play a role in seeing that happen. God may you bless their simple prayers and move in this city.

A lazy morning and some time to think back

10 Years Ago
I was about to start my senior year of high school and one of the better years of life. I was active, as so many students, in building my college resume and decided to join the Young Republicans. This was a decision I look back on with smile as recently my mother, in the context of talking about politics, asked my what I thought about a certain issue and began her question with,"Jon what do you think, since you hate the government and all..."
This was also the year that I went from thinking I was something of a soccer wunderkind to being humbled. Our high school had its first year of a varsity program and after playing soccer year around for the past 7 years of my life I figured I was an easy choice for varsity. After a week of tryouts and being told 'things would be just fine', I showed up look at the final roster that had been posted outside the school on the last day of finals to find out that I was on the JV team. My world felt as it was crashing down in the time it took to find my name on that list.
Things turned out just fine in the end and I found life outside of soccer which is good since I found out in college that in the big picture to put my hope in soccer would make for a sad sad life.

5 years Ago
I had just finished my first summer after graduating college and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had worked the past year as a youth intern and still thought I wanted to go into full-time counseling. I began classes at Trinity Seminary in the counseling program and commuted down to Chicago from Madison twice a week. I had my favorite car ever which was a little red geo metro named Ed, or for those close to me Special Ed. It only had a radio and I quickly found that Milwaukee radio stations sucked so instead of listening to bad music I would try and entertain myself with visions of joining the theater and practicing accents that I never really got down. I remember many a strange glance from people driving along the interstate.
This was also the year that I began really enjoying middle school students and thinking maybe just maybe they were a group of people that I would love to work with for the next years of my life. It also helped that I found out I had little interest and I think gifting in the area of counseling.

Yesterday
Spent much of the day going from meeting to meeting and getting ready to start another year of working with those hormone driven kids. The evening was spent with one of my favorite men from church over at his house talking about bible studies, short term missions and the packers over a steak dinner. I mean come on is that not awesome. Then a good day was topped off with wonderful conversation that I think was meant to be a ten minute phone call that became over two hours.

Today
I am about to go for a long run with my little sister and then a series of more meetings to talk about the start of another ministry year. I love it. One coffee shop to the next and then I think a group of us are making a movie for our kick-off next week. This will likely put me in the mood to be lame and come home to watch some movies alone in my living room for the rest of the evening. I am getting old.

Tomorrow
I feel like quoting some bible verse and getting out of this one but... I am pretty sure I will be waking up late, playing some ultimate Frisbee and then heading off to some wonderful outdoor theater with a random group of 7 friends to drink wine in the woods and wonder what life could have been like if I had only joined the theater group in high school.

5 Snacks
1. Chips and Salsa
2. String Cheese
3. Ice cream of all sorts but really vanilla is the best and not because of the flavor but because of all the things you can put into it
4. popcorn and wine (this is for those lame nights alone watching movies that I enjoy)
5. any random junk food that is lying around which is why I try and avoid ever buying it


CDs whose songs I know all of the lyrics to
1. Where the streets have no name - U2
2. Dreaming Tree - DMB
3. American Idiot - Green Day (when I am hating the government as mom said)
4. All things Over the Rhine and I actually don't know the words but I still sing along
5. Get Up Kids newest album song 4 is in my head right now so we will go with that


5 Things I would do with $100,000,000
1. Give a good size and hopefully secret donation towards the new building our church is trying to move forward on
2. Give to one of the many cool organizations that provides clean water to communities without any around the world (motivation thanks to the movie 'millions'
3. Buy a house
4. Set up some way to always have a car but never have to deal with owning one
5. Set money aside so that each year for the rest of my life I could do one of the cool adventure trips I read about in National Geographic Adventure


5 Locations I would like to runaway to.
1. Banff, Canada
2. New Zealand
3. Alaska
4. Napa Valley
5. Boundary Waters (so that I can look back on this list and not be sad that I am doing none of them)

5 Bad habits I have
1. Picking my fingernails
2. Being late to pretty much everything
3. Taking criticism too seriously
4. Not making my bed
5. Wow five just seems like too many, I want people to like me (see #3)

5 things I like doing
1. Being in the wilderness away from everything with people I really enjoy
2. Going to concerts in small venues
3. Getting a good workout
4. Breaking even after that workout with a long and fantastic meal
5. Having 'real' conversations with people and learning about what is below the surface

5 Things I would never wear
1. Lederhosen
2. A sumo wrestlers outfit
3. Speedo at a public beach (or really anywhere I think)
4. Daisy Dukes - no one wants to see that
5. Ballet clothing

5 TV shows I like
1. Charlie Rose show
2. Frontline - thanks to my dork roommate who has hooked me
3. Six Feet Under
4. Sopranos
5. Sports Night - that was amazing and then they pulled it off the air

5 Movies I like (this past year)
1. In America
2. The Station Agent
3. Spirited Away - I know it is for kids so sue me
4. City of God
5. Millions

5 Famous People I would like to meet
1. Bono - It has been said about 1,000,000 times but he is such an interesting person or at least seems to be
2. C.S. Lewis
3. Billy Graham
4. Gandhi
5. Hitler - I think we often too often chalk up evil deeds to evil people who are wholly different then us but I have a feeling that that is not really true and that we are all a mix of good and evil and capable of amazing good or horrific evil and this meeting might help me understand that more (I believe this idea is from #2)

5 Biggest Joys at the moment
1. I would be lying if Mary was not one of them
2. Starting another year of ministry and seeing what God is going to do
3. Being almost done with my degree
4. Having amazing family and friends
5. Being able to be involved in things that I believe are making an eternal impact and working in community to reach those ends

5 Favorite Toys
1. The Ipod from the 8th graders - thanks you all, that was an amazing gift
2. My bike - I really like it more then my car but that does not take much
3. Laptop which I know is not really mine
4. Our gas grill - again not mine
5. My backpack and other camping gear