final thoughts from days away

My time is coming to a close. I am sitting at a Starbucks while waiting to be picked up. I feel refreshed and excited to start another semester of doing life with students and volunteers. I was repeatedly convinced of my need to step back from the busyness of life to think, prayer, read and just relax. Even more than that I believe this is something that is important for all people.

Granted I am learning more and more that I am an introvert and I need these times to have the energy to love people or even be nice to them. However I believe there is something universally important about stepping away from the rush of daily lives. It forces us, which is often uncomfortable, to ponder the deeper things of life. Why are we here? What are we doing with the short time we have on this planet? Is there more to life that I am not allowing myself to experience? Is all that which I pour my time, energy and passion into really worth it? These are not comfortable questions for me and I often struggle with answering them. But if I am honest I usually make myself too busy to even think about them. There is a comfort in being busy. It drowns everything else out and makes me feel important, valuable, productive.

I am afraid too many of us do this for a significant part of our lives. I want to avoid that. Even if I am wrong about slowing down as a universal need, I know it is an ever present struggle for me.
The last couple of days have challenged me with being okay with just being, with not seeking worth by what I do or who I know but by the sheer reality that I am Abba’s kid. That is an amazing reality that has a long ways to go before really sinking in.

student ministry reflection

I am reading Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli and it has caused some interesting thoughts. In the first chapter of the book Yaconelli sees in many churches that the reason their youth ministries exist is to placate parents and distract students from an ‘evil’ world. I wonder if we do that. I hope not.

Are we a ministry that challenges students to truly experience God? Do we do all that we can to create situations and space for that to happen? Do the adults who volunteer their time see themselves as mentors and role models who have the opportunity to be open about their own journeys toward Christ while challenging students to take part in the same? Do we help students step out of a world of constant activity, advertisements and consumerism to try and see reality for what it really is? How can we improve and what would it look like for us to be a community that really seeks Christ?

The key seems to have loving, God fearing adults around students and allow them to share life together in a meaningful, purposeful way. Busyness seems to be the biggest obstacle to making that happen. We as adults are too busy to pray, to be purposeful and to really spend time with students. Even those of us who are paid to do it tend to get caught up in so many activities that we don’t get with students in the midst of real life. Instead we work hard to create non-lifelike situations and hope that we make a lasting impact.

How can we do this well and what is the ultimate goal? I think the answer is to see students grow into fully devoted disciples, as is expressed in the Great Commission but what does that really look like?

May we slow down and actively seek what that might look like.

stepping back and slowing down

I am away for a two day personal retreat at a cabin near Reedsburg. Over the next two days my goal for the time is to read Contemplative Youth Ministry, come up with main points for coming talks and rethink our ministry leadership structure.

Already my time has been refreshing and challenging. I am only a couple hours into it and there exists the urge to watch a movie, turn on some music or have a discussion. Silence is hard.

On the way here I listened to a program on NPR where the guest discussed his recent book on the Religious Right and its supposed desire to create a totalitarian state. The guest’s rhetoric seemed to match that of which he was speaking out against and it hurt to hear Evangelicals painted in such a negative light. On many levels I agreed with him but it made me wonder what could be done by those of us who call ourselves Christians to understand Jesus and his followers in a different way.

I look forward to the next couple of days as Lord willing I am open to listening in silence to what it means to be like Jesus and lead a community of students that does not create God in its own image but instead is transformed by a truth that exists independent of us.

It is all too easy for me to become angry at a subsection of Christendom for making the Jesus they ‘worship’ into a tool they use to justify their purposes and then turn and do the same. I believe it is possible for us to know a truth apart from our immediate cultures and experiences for if we are not then relativism truly wins the day.

back in the saddle

My email is down at work and I find myself running out of things to do so I thought I would work on a new blog. The past couple of weeks I have had a lot of time off work but I do not feel rested. It feels more relaxing now as I start to get back into a schedule. But writing about life updates and busy schedules is boring to even think about. Instead let me ramble a bit about what has been on my mind a lot lately; wealth and responsibility.

On a number of levels I feel like all I have been doing these past couple weeks is consume and watch others do the same thing. Too much food has been eaten, gifts have been given and received. Time has been spent online and in malls shopping and watching the masses do the same thing. And in the midst of all this I have experienced moments of thankfulness and joy while being with family, friends and celebrating our bountiful blessings together. It is good to enjoy people, food and drink. It is good to be generous and look for ways to bless each other.

Yet through it all I feel I am in a dangerous place. I am in danger of drowning in the joy of consumption. I just left a lunch with a woman who helps run a holistic ministry to woman and children with HIV/AIDS in Kenya. The people she sees every day struggle with having to sell their bodies so that they can have their next meal. I worry about losing the pounds I have gained this past month.

I have read in a couple difference places this past week that some believe that a new reformation is taking place in the church today. This reformation is believed to be driven by Christians who know a great deal about scripture but are now just starting to move as a body to take action. I hope that is true and that I will be obedient in my own life.

I am not sure exactly what to do about the tension between my expanding belly and my brother and sister being hungry across the ocean but I know action is required and my very faith is at risk to do nothing.

I really am thankful for all that I have and I see it as a powerful tool for good but at the moment I am more cognizant of its potential for evil.