what matters most

I am sitting here on a gray Friday morning searching my brain for a topic to write about. The month of September is one of the busiest times of the year for me and the staff I work with at our church. There was a time that I equated busyness with productivity and greater self-worth. I now see that as a dangerous lie. I am tired and very thankful for a morning to sleep in, read and write for a couple hours.

It is easy for me to look inwardly and say ‘Slow down stupid. You know when you pace yourself, things still get done and life is more enjoyable.’ Yet this seems to be a busy season that is impossible to avoid as long as I continue to live in the world I am in. And self analysis quickly turns to self criticism and that combined with being tired can be destructive.

So for today I want to pause and be thankful that the things that are making my life a little crazy right now are things that I am passionate about. I get to spend time with students and adults as they are striving to live out their faith in Christ. By God’s grace I influence those around me as they in turn change me. I get to take time to try and communicate what I believe is inspired text to those same people. I get to invite others to be part of making an influence in something that is eternal. To touch the lives of people who are often hurting, lost, confused and going through significant development.

In the midst of my job picking up speed I am trying to learn to have a loving relationship with Mary. I now see more clearly how ministry can become too important and drown out everything else in ones life. This struggle for me gets at something basic to what I believe it means to be a man. I find value in having something to take head-on, a task, a challenge to conquer. A job can easily become that all consuming conquest but in the midst of it I lose out on an important lesson that Mary has been teaching me: that people are the most important thing. And I want my commitment to her to trump other tasks or even relationships. That is a good thing. I am thankful for her patience and encouragement as this lesson continues to be one that I am slow to get.

I need to learn to love. To rest. To have the wisdom to know what is most important.