leaking all over the place

So far this year, there has been a slow cancer growing within the ministry that I am a part of. As with actual cancer, things at first look fine but under the skin there is a spreading risk and, if not taken care of, will lead to death.

This may be overly dramatic but that has been my sense for the last couple of months and I have had no idea what to do about it. I know the answer (or at least part of the answer) is to pray. This first step is hard for me. I feel that because I work at a church, prayer should be like breathing but it is not. Prayer is hard for me and does not come naturally. Sad. But praise God He loves me right where I am at and has opened my eyes. The source of our problem begins with me.

Our cancer is this: over time our ministry has lost purpose. In church speak, we have lost vision. Our adult team and students gather each week, get through our programming, have fun, and then go home. Put this process on repeat and you can get through a year safely and things look fine. Over time people begin to lose interest, are not willing to sacrifice their resources, and take no part in the community. Next thing you know, things begin to get too busy and before long, we're just creating a Christian club. I believe that is our current diagnosis - or at least we are feeling its first symptoms.

But the truth is we exist for an awesome purpose. There are thousands of middle school students in our community that are lost without Christ. Those three years of life are foundational to a person’s development and often determine the path their lives will follow in regards to all aspects of their being. We have a unique opportunity to provide a place where students can experience the Kingdom and know the extravagant love of God for them. We have the chance to share the Hope that gives amazing meaning and purpose to life. And though we're affected by another cancer that is sin, we know by God’s grace the cure for all that separates us from God. We have the chance to be part of life-changing community that walks with people through all the insane things that a student has to deal with. We desire to build healthy community that reaches out to a larger community that is lost without Him.

That vision is worth giving up time, money and energy for. That vision has eternal significance that will far outlast any degree, paycheck or material possession. We have the real opportunity to spend eternity with those whom we have poured our lives into. That is amazing to think about.

I have been remiss for not keeping this vision at the forefront of all that we do. For this I am sorry. Now by God’s grace I pray that we will move forward with eternal purpose and be part of changing lives that are moving towards the very likeness of Christ. That is something worth giving your life for.

jump around

I love this picture so I thought I would put it up. It is from my time in Germany this spring and it must have taken at least 10 tries to get. Left to right: Jenn, John, me, my sis Sara.

don't you have a job?

In an attempt to avoid work I began to discuss my next blog with mary. At first I wanted to write about recent lessons in humility in regards to my leadership but I think I will let that sink in a bit more before broadcasting it to the world wide web and all 8 ½ readers.

This week at our thursday meeting for the amazing middle school students of the madison area we will be talking about and practicing service. Service is an interesting thing and means so many things. For example…

There seems to be a love to SERVE in the youth culture of today. This summer we had something called Madison missions with our group and during the week we did several hundred service hours in our community and students loved it. Several of them still talk about it. It was exciting to see them find out that serving can be fun and is one of the best methods to build healthy community that I have ever seen. Perhaps as I long for community in my own life I should seek it out by serving with others.

My SERVE in tennis is awful. I like to think that I am pretty athletic but when it comes to tennis I suddenly feel that my arms somehow have been replaced by giant pieces of string cheese. Okay I don’t really feel like that but they don’t work very well and that sucks.

I am pretty sure that ‘you got SERVED’ is not a good movie but I really don’t know. When I am done writing I should go and put it on reserve at the library so I can find out for myself and learn some new dance moves. (If that is not at all what the movie is about sorry but I would still like to become a better dancer.)

The SERVINGS at Chinese restaurants are huge! Being from a family where the ethical thing do to was clean your plate, even if that meant hiding your peas in the folds or your shirt or napkin to give the appearance of clean, I always feel challenged when going out for Chinese. I need to learn to embrace the idea of left over and think of a steaming pile of rice and sesame beef as a two-meal venture.

I should get back to work. I really don’t think this has helped me at all for speaking on service but at least I am hungry now. Time to give Happy Wok a call.

20 odd things before i sleep

The other night Mary and I sat together and separately made up lists of things we wanted to do before we die and then compared notes. Thanks for the idea Amanda and here is my list. I retain the right to change any of them as I so choose. (The following are in no particular order)

1. Get married
2. Have kids...I think somewhere between 2-4 but who knows
3. Travel to Banff, Canada and stay in a mountain cabin
4. Spend time in New Zealand in mountains with view of the Ocean
5. Go to a World Cup game
6. Complete an Ironman
7. Buy a house
8. Live in a foreign country for 3 or more months
9. Act in a live performance and/or film
10. Teach in a church service
11. Go to sub-Saharan Africa (and during time there go on a safari) - Sara you can help with this one
12. Take a cooking class (buy white hat to go with it)
13. Own a motorcycle (and road trip, Motorcycle Diaries affect or is it effect)
14. Tour vineyards in Napa Valley or I would be willing to replace this with a similar tour in another country
15. Backpack in Alaska
16. Get my pilots license
17. Become fluent in another language
18. Complete my masters and doctorate
19. Take a photography class
20. Live for at least a week in an open

OPT:
(a) Be a speaker at a conference
(b) Brew beer or make wine (what is the word for making wine? Is there one?)
(c) Kayak along Mexican border or along Apostle Islands

So there it is, a dream list of things that at this point I would love to do before I die. Only God knows if any of them will happen or if I will even wake up tomorrow. Come what may.