leaking all over the place

So far this year, there has been a slow cancer growing within the ministry that I am a part of. As with actual cancer, things at first look fine but under the skin there is a spreading risk and, if not taken care of, will lead to death.

This may be overly dramatic but that has been my sense for the last couple of months and I have had no idea what to do about it. I know the answer (or at least part of the answer) is to pray. This first step is hard for me. I feel that because I work at a church, prayer should be like breathing but it is not. Prayer is hard for me and does not come naturally. Sad. But praise God He loves me right where I am at and has opened my eyes. The source of our problem begins with me.

Our cancer is this: over time our ministry has lost purpose. In church speak, we have lost vision. Our adult team and students gather each week, get through our programming, have fun, and then go home. Put this process on repeat and you can get through a year safely and things look fine. Over time people begin to lose interest, are not willing to sacrifice their resources, and take no part in the community. Next thing you know, things begin to get too busy and before long, we're just creating a Christian club. I believe that is our current diagnosis - or at least we are feeling its first symptoms.

But the truth is we exist for an awesome purpose. There are thousands of middle school students in our community that are lost without Christ. Those three years of life are foundational to a person’s development and often determine the path their lives will follow in regards to all aspects of their being. We have a unique opportunity to provide a place where students can experience the Kingdom and know the extravagant love of God for them. We have the chance to share the Hope that gives amazing meaning and purpose to life. And though we're affected by another cancer that is sin, we know by God’s grace the cure for all that separates us from God. We have the chance to be part of life-changing community that walks with people through all the insane things that a student has to deal with. We desire to build healthy community that reaches out to a larger community that is lost without Him.

That vision is worth giving up time, money and energy for. That vision has eternal significance that will far outlast any degree, paycheck or material possession. We have the real opportunity to spend eternity with those whom we have poured our lives into. That is amazing to think about.

I have been remiss for not keeping this vision at the forefront of all that we do. For this I am sorry. Now by God’s grace I pray that we will move forward with eternal purpose and be part of changing lives that are moving towards the very likeness of Christ. That is something worth giving your life for.