somehow power
So I have been thinking a lot about prayer as of late and this is my attempt to put my inner rumblings onto the screen. I must start with a confession of sorts. I find prayer really hard. I know as a Jesus follower that it is something I should do and do on a regular basis but it does not come easily. Here are a few reasons why...
First, I struggle with the reason to pray. I mean, why do it at all? We serve a God who knows all, can do anything, has a will the is better then mine, etc. How can I ever lift up a praise that really reflects God's reality, make a request for something that is truly best or fully repent of my inner darkness?
Secondly, and these are far more practical, why does prayer come with so much pressure? I mean if someone stopped me on the street and asked if I wanted to fast or read the Bible I would feel free to say no but if asked to pray I would feel the need to say yes. Not that this might be a bad pressure but it still seems strange that it exists. Next time you are with a group of people and you are sitting down to eat and someone suggests it might be a good idea to pray, I think you should say 'no'.
Also, I know I should be way past this but how many of you can relate with me about the 'preplanned' prayer? You are sitting in a circle and everyone is praying and you know it will be your turn soon or at least you think you should pray soon so you begin to practice in your head. You try and think of what has not been said yet so that you can add something valuable. Then you say it over and over again so it sounds just right. Now you are ready to speak out loud. Maybe this is just me but it is me.
Finally, I am often distracted or guilty of the way peoples' voices change while praying. I am talking in my normal voice and then as prayer begins I become softer and use words that are only okay in prayer and seminary. Why do I do this?
So with all that confusion and whining done for now, I want to become a person of prayer. I know there is power there. I believe that by faith and I know that somehow it makes a difference. God does hear me and talks in return. I know from stories from early childhood that God does amazing things beyond our comprehension when people pray. Not as the act of a divine vending machine but out of grace. So may I and this generation be one that somehow gets to the heart of what prayer really is and bend our knees out of a desire for change.
Amen
First, I struggle with the reason to pray. I mean, why do it at all? We serve a God who knows all, can do anything, has a will the is better then mine, etc. How can I ever lift up a praise that really reflects God's reality, make a request for something that is truly best or fully repent of my inner darkness?
Secondly, and these are far more practical, why does prayer come with so much pressure? I mean if someone stopped me on the street and asked if I wanted to fast or read the Bible I would feel free to say no but if asked to pray I would feel the need to say yes. Not that this might be a bad pressure but it still seems strange that it exists. Next time you are with a group of people and you are sitting down to eat and someone suggests it might be a good idea to pray, I think you should say 'no'.
Also, I know I should be way past this but how many of you can relate with me about the 'preplanned' prayer? You are sitting in a circle and everyone is praying and you know it will be your turn soon or at least you think you should pray soon so you begin to practice in your head. You try and think of what has not been said yet so that you can add something valuable. Then you say it over and over again so it sounds just right. Now you are ready to speak out loud. Maybe this is just me but it is me.
Finally, I am often distracted or guilty of the way peoples' voices change while praying. I am talking in my normal voice and then as prayer begins I become softer and use words that are only okay in prayer and seminary. Why do I do this?
So with all that confusion and whining done for now, I want to become a person of prayer. I know there is power there. I believe that by faith and I know that somehow it makes a difference. God does hear me and talks in return. I know from stories from early childhood that God does amazing things beyond our comprehension when people pray. Not as the act of a divine vending machine but out of grace. So may I and this generation be one that somehow gets to the heart of what prayer really is and bend our knees out of a desire for change.
Amen
posted by Jon at
9:43 PM
3 Comments:
mmm, yes. i love the voice change during prayer. i love how the language changes, too.
i think i could definitely use some help on how to pray. i used to love it, used to fully enjoy it, and then - i don't know what changed - but i just felt like i was doing everything wrong. WHY was i praying? bleh, this is probably a coversation, not so much a blogging comment ...
but i hear you on the prayer thing. i feel like i got better at prayer-for-show in college and when everyone dispersed, i was alone and wondering what it's supposed to look like in private. help?
we discussed this last night at dinner after i prayed for us. don't feel like you are alone jon. it seems that at least three other people do these sorts of things. we talked about group prayer and how we reherse what we will say. trying to sound good while somewhat listening to others to make sure that you don't pray for the same things. Lame! how does one combat against this. us peeople, we are funny ones.
jon - i've been praying you'd update your blog ... are you sure you're really listening to the voice of god??
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