hard to explain

Honduras day 2
1.5.06

Our first full day of being in country is coming to an end and I am tired and a little sunburned. This morning our day began slowly, one of the reasons I love this culture, and we headed to the market. I watched as Luis bartered and chatted with local venders and I acted as the team mule by making repeated trips to the truck with melons, potatoes, eggs, and a variety of food I have no idea what they were over my shoulder.

In the afternoon we loaded up the truck and made the 2 ½ hour trip to Orica, home of the church that we have worked with the past few years. I love driving here. Each trip is an adventure. There are no observable laws and even the few stoplights are treated more as a suggestion than a rule. Upon arrival in Orica I adopted my persona of Juan Gordo (or Fat Jon) and spoke like a two year old. I asked penetrating questions like. What you team is favorite? Or Do you like a grade you have? I don’t even know what I am getting at sometimes but the people there are very gracious and patient with me.

Then came my favorite part of the day. Orica is out in the middle of the country and you have to travel along a winding dirt road over a pass in the brown colored hills to get there. It was time to leave Orica and I got the back of the truck just as the last bits of daylight faded into darkness. I put in my headphones and listed to some of Joshua Tree looking out over the dark landscape and up into the clear night sky. It was amazing and for a few minutes it felt like God was all around me and smiling down on me and swelling up within me. I wish I could put it into words and tell you, tell myself what it was like. But I can’t and regardless of my experience, that is what I love about the divine.

He can be experienced, talked about, related to, studied and yet never in a way that fully gives God justice. God is so much more. More than I think I will ever understand even given eternity to try. But I look forward to giving it a go.

word nerds

For all you word nerds you really should check out: Lake Superior State University Banished Words List. Any words you felt they missed? I think I may have to give my own version from my work world. We shall see.

safety blanket

Notes from Honduras…

I very much doubt that I will be able to get online while I am here in Honduras so I will be posting these blogs after getting back home.

It is the end of our first day here and there is a lot going through my head at the moment. Mostly questions that I really have no answer to. Such as, ‘what is the purpose of short-term missions?’ or ‘are they really helpful and the best of resources?’ or ‘how can our team be a reflection of Jesus with so many cultural barriers?’ But I don’t want to write about any of those questions and risk being overwhelmed with what I do not know. I feel that if I dwell on all the questions around me that I will be swallowed up and miss out on actually living.

Instead I want to write why I love being a part of trips like this. I love it because it reminds me to pray. Being a Christian I know that I need to pray. In fact I even enjoy praying most of the time. And yet I don’t do it. I forget. I don’t care. I don’t want to bother God. At least that is what I tell myself. The fact is, I think I am proud and I think I don’t need God. I can do life. I can handle myself and through good team work, lots of discussions, networking and reading the best resources I can figure out just about anything. What a load of crap.

Here in a different culture, I find myself in a world I do not understand. I am often confused and uncomfortable. I think people are talking about me when they are not. My clothing sticks out. I am way too pasty. All this and God’s grace makes me pray. I pray that I would enjoy people, different food, and limited conversations. I pray that I would not be judgmental of what I do not understand. I pray that I would communicate who Jesus is in a way that reflects truth and not just the United States. I pray that I will not just hide in my room until it is time to go home and I pray that I will not forget and drink the water.

Somehow this prayer out of desperation seems healthier than my normal day-to-day life. For now at least I feel like I can’t do life without help. I am pretty sure that is true back home as well and if I did not so easily wrap myself in the blanket of comfort I might be able to feel this intimate with my Abba wherever I go.