stepping down
About a week ago I had the chance to speak at a camp for the week. Back when I started enjoying the chance to teach, I wondered what it would be like to get to do something like this. It was a great experience and awesome to get to focus on doing all the things I love, teaching and having fun with kids, while not having to worry about the stuff I hate, details of all kinds. It also felt good to get a lot of good feedback. It was a good week and I truly believe that God worked in exciting ways in many lives.
That said it was also a hard week. It is hard to live on a pedestal and know that most people do not know the real you. You can be really real as a teacher and yet even then the 'realness' that people see is carefully chosen so as to let people into your life but not to make them overly uncomfortable. Plus for that short of a time and plenty of chances to get away I had the chance to try and put on my best face.
This experience made me realize the imperative nature of true community. We all, at least I, need a place where people know the real me and despite that, love me. But not as someone on stage but as a real human who has gifts and weaknesses and who wants to love God but more often then not falls far short. Even as I write this down I realize the temptation that getting my thoughts out this way might falsely fill this need. I need other people.
Last week was awesome and I would love to get the chance again but I am pretty sure I could never do something like that full-time. I don't think I could handle it. It is good to be home.
That said it was also a hard week. It is hard to live on a pedestal and know that most people do not know the real you. You can be really real as a teacher and yet even then the 'realness' that people see is carefully chosen so as to let people into your life but not to make them overly uncomfortable. Plus for that short of a time and plenty of chances to get away I had the chance to try and put on my best face.
This experience made me realize the imperative nature of true community. We all, at least I, need a place where people know the real me and despite that, love me. But not as someone on stage but as a real human who has gifts and weaknesses and who wants to love God but more often then not falls far short. Even as I write this down I realize the temptation that getting my thoughts out this way might falsely fill this need. I need other people.
Last week was awesome and I would love to get the chance again but I am pretty sure I could never do something like that full-time. I don't think I could handle it. It is good to be home.
posted by Jon at
11:34 AM
2 Comments:
I understand this completely. Especially in the "blogosphere." It's easy to appear open when you're really only ajar. At least, that's what I tell people when they tell me I'm an open person. Well, that and that I'm not really open, just opinionated...
Come now you seem like you are pretty open. At least as I remember. And tell me more about this marathon. I love to hear about other people's first as I am in the same boat. What is this world coming to that we are all turning into runners?
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